I didn't go to jail, now what?

How many times have you opened your eyes with the intention of changing what you see? Once? Thrice? Never? I mean, think about it - honestly, have you ever opened your eyes with the intent of ripping open the face of a new reality? I really don't know if I have. I've definitely conjured up some interesting pathways in life, alas; I did it for myself. Me and only me, no matter how worldly of an intention I seemed to come at it with. Now, I know that you can't help others before you help yourself, but at what point do we stop consuming and start producing? Is it possible to do both at the same time (i.e. fulfill some chasm in yourself whilst TRULY doing something for the world)? How does one get the fuck off their ass and sprout, blossom, pollinate, and grow even stronger on a quest to reach the sun within whilst reveling in the the sun without? LSD? Tried that. Sex? Too many issues. Love? Sometimes I forget how lucky I am. Chastity? Ha! Just thought I'd throw that in there. Religion? Reference all reasons aforementioned re: lsd/sex/love/chastity. Art seems to work, I just wish I could remember that it will never let you down. It's kind of like the universe, you know? You can piss on it over and over and over and over, and it will still be there to hold you in the night with soft birdsong; not once asking for anything in return - just that you never forget that it's always there to bring the sun to help you grow.